I'm not a religious person. I'm not even sure there is anything or anyone or any being remotely controlling my being here or what happens in my life. I guess I worship in the Temple of Doom and kneel before the icon of Saint Random. I could argue about religion and magical thinking forever - but I don't. I respect - and am often in awe of - those who thank God for the good things and say it's 'God's plan" when things don't work out. Faith is a powerful thing because it makes sense of the unexplainable. Without something to believe in, our heads might explode.
Having said that, I am not opposed to science and physics - although my grasp of them is negligible. ( it can always be argued that God created science or some such mumbo jumbo). Science and physics are my "higher powers". So I bow to them when I whenever I become aware of the patterns that surround me. The things I'm pretty sure I can depend on to always occur.
Take, for instance, my flowering crabapple tree. It is always the last one on my street to burst into bloom. It is also one of the first trees to lose those blooms. Blink your eyes and they are all over the driveway. Why? Because on day 3 of crabapple blooming we get a day of incredibly strong wind.The surrounding weather is irrelevant. Sometimes it's raining - but mostly it's not. The wind blows the blossoms from the tree. And then it's just a tree. Never fails. Day three. Big wind. No flowers.
The same thing used to happen with my peonies (before they were so rudely mangled and destroyed by a big old earth mover). Stunning pink blooms, happy ants, one week and then the awful, torrential rain. The rain would knock them over and slowly, their flowers would fall apart and disappear. There were years when I missed "peony week" at my house because I was on vacation. If I had known they would be forever destroyed by the big machine, I would have planned my vacations around that week. Loved that pink.
Not all patterns happen in nature. Sometimes they happen in people. We have a friend.. A nice enough guy with a big heart and a generous nature whose relationship savvy is on par with that of a thirteen year old girl. He likes the early stuff. You know - the part where the woman hangs on his every word, gazes into his eyes, eats what he eats and is willing to have sex daily. (Did I mention he is a psychologist??? Yep.) I first met him when my (ex) friend married him. She too had a adolescent view of relationships After several rough goes at marriage she was sure she'd found "the one". "There are good guys out there," she used to say, "I found one." Uh huh.. And he was her "good guy" for about five years.
After five years, the blush fell off the rose (sorry - I'm keeping with my nature theme). As we all know, Mr. perfect starts to be less than perfect. She could NOT accept this. The fights began. We had reason to suspect he had someone lined up on the side. He checked out mentally. The marriage ended badly. And he was with a new woman before his suitcases were unpacked. (It's important to know that he had established a relationship with my ex-friend, prior to leaving a woman he was living with. He also had a few ex-wives) He never looks back , he once said. Never.
So I lost my ex-friend in the divorce. (long story - no great loss)...but he hung around because he golfs with my husband. I got close to the new woman. And then I realized that his relationship with this woman was exactly, EXACTLY the same as it had been with my friend. Open space, insert woman here. Move in with her immediately. Go on trips. Go to the lake. She carries his meds and their money in her purse. We sit thru the same 15 stories he used to tell with my ex-friend...although he alters them to look even better. He takes control (in his loveable way) Oral sex is mandatory (girls, get some knee pads) She was afraid to get him upset . etc. It was creepy. I started adding up the facts. He seems to have a five year span. He doesn't care who the woman is - all she has to do is adore him.When he no longer feels adored - he's gone. And now he's gone from the last woman (bummer). There's also a new woman. This one hasn't seen 40 yet (he's 68).He moved in with her a few weeks after they met. She hangs on him. She drinks what he drinks. Agrees with him on everything. Laughs way too loud at his jokes. It's kind of pathetic, She may last 5 years. (My husband doesn't give it through the summer). Crazy thing is I still enjoy this bullshitter guy. In small doses. Go figure.
I don't know if my crapapple shedding, or my drowned peonies or my "teenage" 68 year old friend have anything to do with a God or science. I suppose there is comfort in pattern and predictability. They are both signposts that we've been this way before and we're pretty sure what lies ahead. So as I sit here and glance out the window as the plumber pulls into my driveway, I suppose I should find comfort in knowing that each time we eliminate our debt something big breaks in our house. That's the pattern. God really doesn't control my plumbing- but I think physics does...
No comments:
Post a Comment