Been gone so long...

Until recently I truly believed that I had some control over the state of my body. Good eating. Moderate exercise (albeit irregular), regular check ups...I'm.like a car I want to keep driving for a long time. My friend - who does not take very good care of herself (she takes better care of her car)-  did some research on doing all the right things to stay healthy and concluded that by doing everything right we gain about 3 months. In the end turning down that brownie or that hot crusty French bread may not be worth the sacrifice.  I think I'd rather die with brownie crumbs and frosting on my lips than kale and quinoa.  In fact - I'd rather be dead than eat either one of those things. But I digress.

I have had a six month battle with lady-part issues that all stemmed from that one fateful visit to the female gynecologist who found the "bump". Then the subsequent surgery and mini-remodel. The discovery of HPV hiding in my body and the news that most people have it but don't know it,  How comforting. (See blog entry entitled "the new adventures of old Mandy" if you want the details. )  Late this summer, still not feeling fully right and still having problems, I also discovered an outbreak of  - are you ready for this (cause I wasn't) Herpes.  WTF?  I've never ever ever had an outbreak of anything transmittable 65 years.  I almost fell off the exam table. What? How? God knows I've been good for 19 years (for once in my life).Not even a cold sore. Ever.  My first thought was my husband had a bit of 'splainin to do...but the doctor said I could have been there sleeping for twenty or thirty years. Something just woke it up.  Maybe the surgery.  I would never know, he told me. (Yea but I WANT to know) Took some supressant drugs and it went back to sleep. For now.

Recently I had a run-in with genes. My mom's to be exact.  Right before Thanksgiving I experienced my first full blown - go to the ER attack of diverticulitis. I'm still  recovering. For the record,  I don't recommend this condition. Nor do I know how to avoid having it happen again because they really have no freaking idea why it happens but it happens mostly to older people (yeah, that'd be me) and may be preventable with a high fiber diet - which I normally eat.  So much for good car care.  Ironically the diet they put you on to heal is the white bread diet. White bread, white pasta, no raw or fibrous veggies or fruits (except canned), no nuts, seeds or beans.  Lots of bananas, mashed potatoes, chicken noodle soup and jello.

 I don't think that gastroenterology is a exact science.