Saturday, September 28, 2013

Horror films... and why not to go if you're over 60

Several nights ago my husband and I settled into our usual late night dullness to watch a movie. Neither of us could remember who ordered it but we were pretty sure that we'd seen it as a preview before watching another movie. That's actually where we get most of our rental ideas from. Even though we do have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly (it's his subscription, honest) we aren't always on top of what films are trending until they've come and gone. ( Unless they're Woody Allen  movies because  I've been hooked on his films for 30+ years....except for "September" cause that was so bad it was unintentionally funny)

This one was called , "The Company You Keep" or something like that. I can't remember titles...or names of people..or even plots...but this is new enough for me to remember enough, So anyway it's basically about 1970's American Weather Underground activists who have been wanted for murder and mayhem for for 50 years. They've all been hiding under assumed names in non-descript towns leading ordinary, dull lives.  Then one gets caught. (Well, she actually was about to turn herself in... guilt sucks).

It's not the story that bothered me. It was the actors.  The film stars Robert Redford and Julie Christie and some other folks like Susan Sarandon, Sam Elliott and Stanley Tucci..  The problem with this cast was what made the movie such a horror for me because everyone I just named looks really OLD. And not in a good way.

I suppose the main problem for me was Robert Redford. Listen the guy is 77 years old - and he looks every damn year of it and more. I'm sorry for being so superficial (but I am) but Robert Redford will always be Hubble in The Way We Were, or that rough and tumble guy in Horse Whisperer, or Bob Woodward in Watergate.  But this guy looked like one of those dried apple people you buy at craft fairs. And they tried so hard to make him look younger and it soooo did not work.  They even gave him an 8 year old daughter ....(I hate that about men..they can keep reproducing until they keel over).His face was lumpy and they must have tried using fillers but whoever administered the injections was sight impaired with a touch of Parkinson's. Not good.  I could not stop staring at his face.  sigh

Julie Christie? What?  That is the most beautiful woman ever.  For me she is Lara in Dr. Zhivago (except for that bizarre lighting that always darkened her face and lit her eyes...that was  so odd) or, more recently, she is that stunning older woman with Alzheimer's Away from Her.  This Julie sadly visited the same Botox/Restalyne depot as poor old Redford.  She looked ....wrong..kinda bloated and, well...wrong. Not as bad as he did...but not as good as she could.

Now Susan Sarandon looks good.  Age appropriate. No visible work on the face. Her large breasts sag a bit but hey - who's looking. She did not depress me. She gave me hope. Stanley Tucci is rumored to have some connection to the Picture of Dorian Gray...he never ages, wrinkles, lines or looks any different. Those pacts with the devil work better than Botox. Nick Nolte has actually improved since the mug shot that circulated after his arrest. Sam Elliott ages great. He's still hot. If he could only give some of his aging genes to Redford or Christie maybe they would stop Botoxing and be content with tweaking (not to be confused with twerking) and tucking on occasion.

What this is, for me, is the gentle (like a smack in the head from a 2 by 4) reminder that I am older.  That we are older.  That the people I grew up admiring are older.  There are reasons I avoid the mirror (though is is challenging to tweeze without a mirror...) Almost every glance is a shock...because the me inside who looks out from these eyes (that are beginning to sag) is still 40 years old. It is a constant surprise to look at myself in pictures or in the mirror and realize I'm not that person on the outside (just inside...yummy and fresh inside).  I hope that if I ever try so hard to turn back the clock someone will pull me aside and gently say "What the f--k are you doing? You look awful"  Because good friends do that.

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