It is clear to me that I am in a funk. I don't feel like writing in this blog or in any of the other places I leave my scent. I generally stay away from people as much as I can...and I have been arguing, insulting and mocking people whose opinions I disagree with on Facebook. Clearly, I am not in control of me. Working on getting out of it...but it isn't easy.
Medication is a consideration but I'm sooooooooooo sure I can resolve my sadness/anger once the issue with my son has passed (and that would be when??? cause we are on week four of him not talking and 2 months away from his move-out deadline) or once I stop being furious over losses I couldn't/can't control....or overcome my desire to maim anyone who spouts inspirational messages and tells me to count my blessings instead of my losses or disappointments..so I delay calling the doctor. If I were my client I would order me to get some meds (or check into a remote retreat in India).
I'm pretty sure at this point that my husband and anyone else who has been at the wrong end of my hair-triggered temper would be willing to make the call for me....or to buy me some Zoloft on the black market. I'd put money on that. I am most unpleasant to be around. I can't even stand myself. It's like PMS without the prospect of blood or cramps (which isn't that bad if you think about it).
And that's all she wrote.
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